the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
