I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
