what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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