Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
