I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
