There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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