I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
