Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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