I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
