I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize