So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
