Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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