Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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