I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
