i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
