Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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