so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
