I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
