How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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