I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
