So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
