What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The air was thick with penises
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
