hotel room ftw
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
