do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
