is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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