His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
