I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
not ubering you a puppy
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
