After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
