can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize