he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
