Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
