"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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