just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
