I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
