Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
