Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
