So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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