I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
