Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
