Dual....:-)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
