I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
