I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
