I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
