I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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