I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Ladies don't puke and tell
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
