JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Farmville is her only friend.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
