this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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