JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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