I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
