Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
