Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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