He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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