Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
