you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
