I hate your face
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
