So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
