I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
