he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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