I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
