The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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