Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
