Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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