i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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