Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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