Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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