The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
