you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it hurts more in the daytime
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize