I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize