YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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