Me too!
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
