You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
