Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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