who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize